Twenty Years, One Valuable Lesson
Twenty go-rounds on this little earth. What a wow.
This birthday means so much more to me than any of my other birthdays past because I have been waiting for it since I was a little girl. I thought that at 20, I’d finally be the pretty, independent, and educated woman that all the other adult woman around me were. That desire to be pretty came from a lack of self-esteem that persisted well into my middle school years. That desire to be independent came from wanting to participate in all the fun (but actually harmful) activities we associate with youth without having to answer to my “strict” Nigerian parents at the end of the day. Praise God, I have learned that I was always beautiful, and that independence is vastly overrated. The desire for education seems pure on its face but even that was fueled by insecurity and a belief that being smart and successful would compensate for what I lacked in beauty. Again, Hallelujah to Jesus for not waiting until I turned 20 to show me the truth which is that I don’t have to do anything at all to be of value. He has already created me in His likeness, called me beautiful and seated me right next to Him. He calls me beloved and delights in little ol’ me. As big and awesome as He is, He chose a small girl like me. Can you imagine? Every day, My Dad (God) finds new ways to show me that He loooooovvvveeeesssss me! That’s why in this past year, I have learned to just believe.
Believe in Him.
Believe in His Love for me. (Romans 5:8, 1 John 4:9-10)
Believe He cares about me. Down to the smallest hair on my head. (Matthew 10:27-31)
Believe that He is bigger than whatever I can see with my own two eyes. (II Corinthian 4:18, Hebrews 11:1-3)
Believe that He is bigger than fear. (II Timothy 1:7, Deuteronomy 20:3-4, Psalms 91)
Believe that He is bigger than doubt. (James 1:2-8)
Believe that He is bigger than anxiety. (Philippians 4:6-7)
And every other nonsensical thing that sets itself up against the word of the Lord. He is bigger than it.
It may seem so obvious. Even now, you’re probably reading this like “well duh, I believe in God, rah rah rah,” and that might be true. But the thing is, belief cancels out worry and replaces it with confidence in the One who created you. Therefore, if you are still weighed down by worry trying to do life in your own power and not that of your Heavenly Father then do you really believe? If you believe that He exists but you do not believe that every single word He has spoken is the truth, then do you really believe?
Seeing what was wrong with my original answers to these questions and asking God to help me change those answers caused a HUGE shift.
So now when I feel overwhelmed by everything going on around me, I do not shutdown. I go to my Dad and ask for help with faith that my request is granted. When I feel sad, I go to my Dad and tell Him what’s wrong with faith that He hears me and has already conquered the cause of my tears.
And I would be lying if I said He did not show up in my academic and professional endeavors as well. When I apply for opportunities and that sneaky voice of doubt rises up saying “you’re not qualified. There’re so many better candidates, why would they pick you?” and all other false things, I rebuke that voice in Jesus’ name! Why? Because having confidence in who my Dad is makes me understand that I am not subject to anything that is contrary to the word of the Lord.
So basically, because I can!
Photos captured by Mya Thomas/ Edited by Oyin Awosika
This has been such a transformational lesson in ways that, if explained, would make this post way too long. But trust me when I say that doubt and unbelief are a couple of those high things discussed in II Corinthians 10: 3-5. They literally exalt themselves against the knowledge of God by consuming our thoughts. But praise God. Praise Him because in Him, I can now cast those things down and bring my thoughts to the obedience of Christ Jesus.
I replace those thoughts with the truth which is that I am a daughter of the Most High King and as such, I am qualified because He said so and no other reason than that. I can believe in Him without fear of disappointment because He has already made it clear that He hears me, He fights for me, He answers me, He loves me. He is my dwelling place, my refuge, my literal everything.
And no matter what happens in this life on earth, I am always joyful because my hope is in the Lord.
**Hey friends! Thanks for reading this post! I encourage you to not just take my word for all that I said here but go and see for yourself. I purposefully included the scriptures that have encouraged me through those difficult times so that you all could reference them. Also to make it clear that I don’t know this stuff because I’m smart and somehow decoded life or “have it all together,” it is God’s word. I just arm myself with it and you can too.***
